Testing to Begin

I received a note from the contact person at Lab Corp letting me know that Liliana's sample arrived this morning. It will be entered into the system this afternoon and testing will begin.

This news already makes my weekend better!!!!!!

I'm also thrilled to report that I remembered it's "Favorite Photo Friday." Apparently getting good news clears my mind :-)

Lili and her Baby Abuelita doll.

Updates Still Coming

I found out that Lili's 2nd DNA test was scheduled for 8:00 a.m. this morning, so everything should be done and the specimen soon on it's way to Lab Corp here in the U.S.

For those not familiar with this part of the process, I'll provide a quick explanation. About a month after we received Lili's referral, she was taken to a U.S. Embassy approved doctor for the initial DNA test. This test required that her birth mother also be present so they could be tested at the same time. Those specimens were sent to a lab here in the U.S. called Lab Corp. They conducted the test and it came back with a positive match, meaning that the woman who was placing her for adoption was her biological mother. About 7 months ago, the U.S. put another safe guard in place and started requiring that a 2nd DNA test be conducted to make sure that no babies were being switched with other babies during the adoption process. The 2nd DNA test is only done on the child then matched with the original test results. Those results are sent to the U.S. Embassy and as long as the match is positive, the Embassy makes an appointment for the adoptive family to come to the Embassy with their child and complete the final paperwork for U.S. approval. This appointment is listed on a pink sheet of paper and the confirmation emailed to the adoptive parents. It is referred to as ePink and this is now what we are waiting for. I predict we will receive our ePink by the end of next week with our Embassy appointment scheduled sometime the last week of March. Again, this is only a prediction and I'm basing this on the current timelines posted on the forums. Please feel free to post your predictions in the comments section.

Because I like having connections that allows me to stay on top of our process, I have a contact at Lab Corp that will keep me informed. She will let me know when the specimen arrives, when the results are in, and when it's shipped back to the Embassy. By-the-way, this is not my own "personal" contact person, this woman has posted her name and email information on Guatadopt and invited families to contact her for information. I'm just accepting the invitiation :-)

So, stay tuned as I should have updates over the next week.

Another Update

I found out late this afternoon that Lili got her passport today. Therefore, that means we have the new birth certificate and Lili is officially and legally a Weeks. The 2nd DNA test will be done either tomorrow or Wednesday, so we are getting very close to travel for pick up. While I don't know exactly when we'll be traveling it will probably be the last week of March or first week of April.

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday Hodge Podge

I considered not posting anything until I actually have further word on where we are in this "long" process, but who knows when I would post again if I continued waiting. However, I do hope to get some sort of update today and if I do, you'll get at least 2 posts for the price of one.

Now you're probably wondering what I'm going to talk about today and for the most part it's going to be a hodge podge of information.

Hodge Podge #1 -
I did get a milestone update on Lili Friday. She's crawling!!!! Yes, it was a little sad to hear that I missed yet another milestone, but she is almost 10 months old now and the fact that she's crawling means that she is still developing well. I know that some babies come home at 9, 10, or 11 months of age barely able to sit up by themselves, so to know that she's mobile is a good thing. This also means Dave needs to get serious about a cabinet for our electronics (DVD players, VCR, etc.)

Hodge Podge #2 -
Questions regarding gifts for Lili have also started coming my way and since I've been buying things pretty consistently since getting her referral in June, I decided to sit down to figure out what things we really want/need. Because I wanted to have one list I decided to use Amazon and created a baby registry which is now included as a link on my blog page. If you scroll down below the pictures on the right hand side of the page you'll see the link. I will probably add a few more things over the next few days, but at least I can now direct people to the baby registry which makes it a bit easier for me at this point. Obviously, nothing has to be purchased via Amazon and again this was just a way for me to keep a list in one place for those who ask.

Hodge Podge #3 -
Being from a small midwest town (population of approx. 1300), there just isn't that much diversity. So, you can imagine how excited I get when I find out about any family in our area who has adopted or is adopting internationally. A few months ago I found out about a family in a near-by town who adopted 3 children from Ethiopia, there is a family down the street with two girls from China, and my blog put me in contact with another family in our little community that are in process of adopting from China. Well, I'm sure you can imagine my excitement when I found out last week that there is another family here that just received the referral of two little boys from Ethiopia. That is now 4 families in our little town and another family just a few miles away that have adopted or are in process of adopting internationally. While that may not seem like a lot, that's huge for such a small community and I love seeing that people are becoming more open and willing to love and accept the newest members into our little community. It is awesome to be a part of this.

Hodge Podge #4 -
A couple weeks ago I started some serious Spring cleaning. So far I've gotten two rooms and closets done, Dave has put shelving in one of the basement closets and is working on a second and I now have food products sitting all over my kitchen counters trying to figure out the best way to organize my pantry cabinet. With that said, I'm going to get back to it as I'm sure no one wants more detail on that project :-)

Favorite Photo Friday

I continually forget to post pictures on Fridays, but today I'm on the ball. Okay, I admit, I forgot again until I looked at Nora's (Tycast Team) blog and she had posted her pictures.

Here you go.

Ahhhh!!!!!! I can't believe she's already behind the wheel of a car. Guess we'll be car shopping in the near future. :-)

Latest News

I received an update from our agency today. Lili's birth mom has signed off for the last time, so Lili is now legally our daughter.

Here are the remaining things that will need to be done:

- New birth certificate (we're told our attorney is working on this now)
- Passport
- Documents translated from Spanish to English
- 2nd DNA authorization
- ePink (an email from the U.S. Embassy informing us of our appointment date and time)
- Embassy Appointment
- Home

I'll keep everyone posted as we get more information.

Haven't Posted Pictures Lately

And decided I really should get some posted before the complaints begin.

What's going on over there?

I love the phone my mommy brought me the last time she came to visit. Can't wait to see what else she has waiting for me when I go home.

I wonder if there is anyway to remove this thumb?

Good Information on Attachment

My favorite adoption book is called "Adoption Parenting - Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections." There is great information covering every adoption topic from getting started in adoption to language to therapy, etc. etc. You name it, you'll find it in this book.

Since I've been trying to provide as much information as possible regarding attachment and bonding, I thought I'd share an article from this book by Sheena Macrae and Karleen Gribble BRurSc, PhD called "Why Grandma Can't Pick Up the Baby."

Newly adopted children often arrive into our families stressed by the transition and confused as to what family is and what's special about parents. It's a two-way thing - we also need time to learn our new children! We need also to have courage and knowledge to tell people in our circle of friends and family what we know to be best for this, our child. Here are some tried and tested bonding tips. If friends and family protest, print this sheet and give it to them.

• New experiences are hard to cope with during stressful times so minimize the stimulation your child receives in the early days post-placement. Save the welcome party for later!
• Control the contact your new child has with others until your child understands that family is special; this is especially important if your child is actively seeking to engage others as opposed to you. In the early days and months even Grandma may have to wait to cuddle!
• If you will use caregivers other than yourself from early on, bring them into your bonding circle, but try to ensure that the care givers defer to you on how to feed the child, how much excitement you think is appropriate, etc.
• Keep your child in close proximity to you - carry them if you can. Slings are useful even for older toddlers and pre-schoolers. Your child will begin to recognize your special feel and smell!
• Do not ignore your child's cries to avoid 'spoiling' them or to teach them 'to go to sleep'; this will be detrimental to their developing trust of you.
• Arrange for physical closeness so that you are within arms reach and line of sight of your child at night.
• Avoid hard baby carriers, baby seats, high chairs and strollers which put distance between you and your child. Slings and front-facing strollers allow eye-contact.
• Provide the experience of nurture through food via bottle feeding/feeding games. Hold your child on your lap at mealtimes.
• Provide lots of touch and skin-to-skin contact via massage, swimming together or co-bathing.
• Be persistent but not invasive when nurturing your child. Your child may take some months or more to become comfortable with your care-giving. Becoming familiar rather than strange takes time, but the bond forged will last a lifetime.

Some families use visual aids to help their children understand the 'circle of love'. Draw your child at the heart of concentric circles with those on the outside furthest from your close family relationsip, where kisses and cuddles are permitted. Think up your version of this! Display it on the fridge - and live it for real. Show it to doubting friends and family. They-like your child-will get it!

Let the Preparations Begin

I've decided that I need to keep a positive attitude in place regarding Mixco birth certificates and stay focused on the very real possibility that in as little as 5 weeks we may be traveling to Guatemala on our pick up trip. So, what does one do while they wait out those last few weeks before their little one comes home? Well, I clean! I'm now in the mode of trying to stay one step ahead of everything in preparation for having a little one in the house again. As a result, the Spring cleaning and organizing has begun. For a matter-of-fact, as I post this newest blog entry, Dave is in the basement putting shelves in one of the closets and next weekend we hope to have shelves in under our basement stairs for more storgage space. We've thrown out 2 boxes of stuff this afternoon and I'm going to start tackling closets next week. Reba (Cloud Chronicles) reminded me of how much more difficult it is to get all those little things done when you're busy being mommy. So, I figure if I can get everything done over the next few weeks, I will have a good month of clean and organized after Lili gets home before everything goes down hill. The only reason I can even say I'll have a month is because Dave is taking 4 weeks of infant care leave. Once he's back to work, it's all down hill from there :-)

So, wish me luck on my cleaning spree. I love a clean and organized house and it may be the last time it's really clean and organized for several years :-)

One More Post Today

Since I know some of you are with WHFC and have received your updated photos, you're probably watching for me to post ours. However, I'm not going to be posting them this time. Why you ask? In several of the pictures she's not even looking at the camera, but most importantly, our foster mom is in all of the pictures and I don't feel comfortable posting her picture without her permission. Therefore, these updated photos are not going to be included in my blog posts. Not to worry though, I know I have pictures I've never posted before and I'll get those out as soon as I can.

Happy Valentine's Day

Love is in the air in so many different ways this year and when I think of the love in my life I think of my awesome husband, Dave. I'm sure most of you thought I'd say Liliana, but the love that Dave and I share brought us together over 22 years ago so we could travel life's journey together. That journey and that love has lead us to Liliana. Of course she is also high on my list along with our boys.

Our desire to share our love with another child who was in need of a home and a family took us all the way to Guatemala and Liliana. The love that Liliana's birth mother had for her, gave her the strength and the courage to do what she had to so Lili would have the opportunity to live a better life than the one she would be able to provide. Lili's foster mom came into the picture to love and care for her until that time we are able to travel to Guatemala where she will place her in our arms forever. It is amazing and sometimes very over whelming to realize just how many people love this little girl and want the very best for her.

So, on this Valentine's Day, while you make your way through that heart-shaped box of chocolate, please take time to reflect on the love in your life and what you can do to help spread that love to other parts of this great big world.

As We Approach Pick Up

I realize that many of you who read my blog have already done a lot of reading on attachment and bonding. However, some of you may be looking for information and for our friends and family who aren't familiar with the importance of this topic, I will again post some of the best information I've found on attachment and bonding. It will hopefully explain some of the reasons we may ask our friends and family to avoid doing certain things or why we go running every time Liliana cries. My hope is that everyone will find the information helpful in some way.

Jump-Starting Attachment with Babies and Toddlers

by Mary Ostyn

While waiting for our children to arrive, most of us have entertained the fantasy that our new babies or toddlers will greet us with open arms, ready to love and be loved. Reality is more complex, of course. But the more attuned we are to the needs and cues of our newly arrived babies and toddlers, the better we can help them settle in and become attached.

Bonding 101

1. Carry your child a lot, even a 33-pound 2-year-old. Get a good baby carrier and aim for an hour each day. Carry him or her while you cook, vacuum, walk or shop. Your arms and back may get tired, but carrying helps “glue” your child’s heart to yours.

2. Rock your child heart-to-heart every day, and don’t phase out that bottle yet. Bottle-feeding is great for bonding, even with 2- and 3-year-olds.

3. Be the primary food provider in the first six months. Meal time is powerful bonding time. If someone offers your child a treat, take the treat yourself to give to the child. You should be the source of everything wonderful at first. Grandma’s turn will come later.

4. Play on the floor at least half an hour each day. Tickle, laugh, dance, play peekaboo and be silly every day. Fun has tremendous bonding power.

Common problems

-Resisting affection

A newly arrived little one sometimes sends conflicting signs. Your child will beg to be picked up and then immediately fuss to be let down. He or she will whine to be held and then nearly fall off mom’s lap to avoid body contact. He or she will go limp when carried. Parents sometimes think their child “isn’t cuddly,” which is not true. Your child is feeling hesitant about these new people in his or her life. Hesitant kids need more contact, not less. Acclimate your baby to touch with a lot of gentle cuddles every day. Don’t be deterred if he or she resists. Hug, carry and cuddle your child anyway. Your touch is the good medicine he or she needs to attach. “Uncuddly” kids eventually enjoy affection if parents are gently, lovingly persistent.

-Avoiding mom

Poorly attached babies sometimes prefer caregivers other than mom. This is self-protection. They don’t want to risk falling in love with yet another mom who might leave. Mom should be the one to do the majority of the care for the first few months, even if a child shows a strong preference for dad or someone else. It is crucial that a child bond with mom first.

-Regression

“Children will typically regress developmentally with a move,” says Deborah Gray in her book “Attaching in Adoption.” “Parents will need to move backwards with them and bring them forward again.” Treat your child younger than his or her age for a few months after homecoming. Feed him or her. Even a self-feeding child can get bites from mom at mealtime. Take your child from room to room with you as you move throughout your day. Play on the floor. Respond to the cries, just as you would a newborn. After all, he or she is newborn to your family. The more nurturing you give your new little one, the more quickly attachment can happen.

-Extreme independence

Some babies and toddlers will play alone for long periods of time, never asking a thing of mom. That’s not as good as it sounds. Interaction is crucial to bonding with newly arrived babies and toddlers. Short periods of alone play are OK. But in general, you should interact. Let him or her splash in the sink or watch while you do dishes. Go for a walk. Read a story. Most of your waking hours should be together. Yes, it is intense, tiring work. But there’s nothing more critical in those early months than building that attachment.

-Disturbed Sleep

This is a biggie for parents. Most babies who are moved will have disturbed sleep for weeks or months after homecoming. It can get exhausting. Remember that the more often you can be the solution to his or her unhappiness, the stronger the attachment will be. “Do not leave an adopted toddler alone crying at night as often recommended by many parent discipline specialists,” says Mary Hopkins-Best in her book “Toddler Adoption.” “The techniques of temporary segregation and isolation are for children who are securely attached, not for toddlers learning to trust that their parents will meet their needs in a loving and responsive manner.” Hug your child, lie next to him or her, or pat his or her back. Keep it low-key, dark and quiet. Some parents bring the child into bed with them to get better sleep. Others use a mattress on the floor of the child’s room as a cozy place for parent and child to sleep on restless nights. In the wee hours, you may wonder if responding is the right thing, but remember to think of your child as newly born to your family. For now, he or she needs to have those nighttime needs met.

Signs of Attachment

Expect attachment to take time. Think months, not weeks. Though children can appear settled fairly soon, most take six months to a year to attach well. Rarely does it happen within a month. Be patient.

Good Signs

• Does your child make good eye contact with you?

• Does your child giggle when you tickle him or her?

• Does your child seek your praise?

• Does your child nestle in when you cuddle?

• Does your child cling with arms and legs when you hold him or her on your hip?

• Does your child search for you when you are out of sight?

• Does your child prefer you over strangers and friends?

If you answered yes to these questions, then it is a good sign your child is attached to you. If you answered no to several of these questions, you may want o seek professional help for your child.

If you notice challenges with these things, don’t panic. There is time. Remember to work on Bonding 101 every day. Don’t listen to well-meaning people who say you’ll spoil your child. Neglect, not nurturing, is what spoils a child. Nurturing helps your child become a healthy and well-attached member of the family.

Our Agency Has Confirmed

We are in fact approved and out of PGN. PGN released our file today and it is now in the hands of our attorney. The appointment for the final birth mother signature has been scheduled and our case should be submitted to the civil registry office in Mixco for the new birth certificate sometime this week or next week.

Because it's difficult to know for sure if Mixco will expedite our birth certificate or not, our agency has told us to plan on it being about 3 months before we travel for pick up. However, they did say that the attorneys have been successful in getting Mixco birth certificates rather quickly, so we will most likely travel sooner than that. Still, they want us to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.

I'll continue to keep everyone updated as things progress.

A Lili Update

We have been very fortunate that our attorney has provided our agency with Lili's medical updates every month. Not all families get this information, but ours has arrived like clockwork. So, here is the latest from Lili's pediatrician.

On January 25, 2008

Weight - 16 lbs 8 ozs
Length - 27.95 inches

She sits by herself, she stands up and walks in the walker. She is presently enjoying complete health.

It appears that her growth is starting to slow down a bit. She only gained 6 ozs and grew just over 1/2 an inch. At the rate she was growing before, I was starting to wonder if she was going to be wearing 2T size clothing by the time we brought her home :-) However, it appears she'll be wearing 12 month clothing and only because of her length.

I've Stopped Crying and Shaking

Well at least long enough to post that

WE ARE OUT OF PGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It took me 3 tries, but I finally got through to Laura at PGN who told me we were approved 2 days ago, February 6th.

My poor husband gets a call from his sobbing wife telling him the news, our little girl is coming home.

The next step is the final birth mother signature. Once that happens, Lili is legally the daughter of Dave and Debbie Weeks.

We will still need a new birth certificate issued and a 2nd DNA test completed, but we hope to be back in Guatemala sometime the end of March or beginning of April to pick her up and bring her home for good!!!!!!

Now I can really start planning for her arrival. Someone should call Target, Baby Depot, and Kohl's to alert them that I'm armed with a credit card and ready to shop :-)

Another Day in PGN

I was gone most of the day helping a friend with her little guy and the first thing I did when I got home was check voicemail. However, there were no messages and no calls from our agency on caller ID. Therefore, it looks like we've gone through another day in PGN :-(

There are still families on the forums posting their PGN outs from submits and resubmits around December 20th, so we have passed our December 18th resubmit date. Although in my head I know that we will eventually get our PGN approval, my heart isn't quite there. I really hope we get good news tomorrow, otherwise, I'll have to try and survive another weekend. AAAHHH!!!

Still No Word

So, I gave in and tried to call PGN again today, but I was disconnected on each of my attempts and gave up. It is now 4:15 CST and 5:15 EST and since our agency is on the East Coast, it's doubtful we'll hear anything today. Bummer! I read of another out of the forum today. They were a December 19th resubmit, which is the day after we were resubmitted. No, PGN really doesn't go in order, although it would be nice. So, we continue to wait anxiously and nervously hoping that very soon our agency will call with good news.

I've Hit a Blogging Milestone

Okay, I know this is much more exciting to me than it will be to any of you reading this, but as of today, I have had over 10,000 hits on my blog.

Thanks to all of you for reading and following along this journey with me.

Get Out and Vote

This is a U.S. history election year like no other. The only two candidates left on the democratic side are a black man and a woman. On the republican side, they are all white men. Okay, that's no different than it's ever been, but you get my point I'm sure.

If you live in one of the 22 states holding their primary elections today, I want to encourage you to "get out and vote." Please don't take the stance that your vote doesn't count, because all our votes count.

And of course I have to give a shout out to my candidate of choice. "Go Obama!"

PGN Reviewers

I appreciate all the comments I receive on my blog and when I get questions I try to answer them via a post as others may be curious about the same thing.

The question today is in regards to the PGN review process.

When a case enters PGN it is assigned a case number and is given to the 1st reviewer. What I'm not totally clear on is how many 1st reviewers there are in PGN, but it obviously only takes one to review our case :-) My understanding is that the 1st reviewer is responsible for making sure that all the appropriate paperwork is in the file. If anything is missing, a previo will be issued and the case kicked out of PGN until the attorney obtains the appropriate document and resubmits the case. When a case is resubmitted, it goes back to the 1st reviewer and that person will again go through the file to make sure all the appropriate paperwork is now included.

Once it has cleared the 1st reviewer's desk, it moves on to the 2nd reviewer. Again, I really don't know how many 2nd reviewers there are. This person is responsible for going through each document with a fine tooth comb to make sure all the i's are dotted and t's crossed. Any error on any document will receive a previo and once again the attorney will need to get the document corrected and can resubmit the case once that has been done. In our case, we assume it was the 2nd reviewer that issued the previo as they found a problem with Lili's birth certificate. Once the correction is made, the attorney resubmits the file to PGN and it goes back to the 1st reviewer who will make sure all the appropriate paperwork is in order and after clearing the 1st reviewer's desk, the 2nd reviewer will again go through all the documents with that fine tooth comb to make sure everything is in order.

The last stop in PGN is the desk of Señor Barrios. He is the head honcho and his seal of approval is what all PAPs desire. He also does a quick review of the case and can issue a previo if he finds something. However, it appears that previos are not often issued by Señor Barrios. He is also responsible for signing off on the previos issued by the 1st or 2nd reviewers, so his signature could be a good thing or a bad thing. Regardless, until Señor Barrios puts his John Hancock on the dotted line saying "approved," I will continue to pace the floor.

Got Through to PGN Finally

Only to find out that we're still with the 2nd reviewer. Therefore, I have absolutely no idea how much longer we will have to wait. Ugh!

Only PAPs in PGN Look Forward to Mondays

Because nothing happens in PGN over the weekend, those of us waiting for approval hate the weekends and love Monday mornings! We all spring out of bed and run to our computers to log on so we can begin stalking the forums to see who has gotten their PGN out call and we pace the floor waiting for that long anticipated phone call saying "You're Out of PGN." Today is no different and already this morning I've been on the computer 4 different times waiting to see if anyone has gotten their PGN out calls yet. Of course there has been no word as it's not even 10:30 in Guatemala and by the time the attorneys go check on their cases, get word back to the agencies and the agencies contact the PAPs, it will be at least afternoon I'm sure. However, at this point in the game a PAPs mind doesn't function properly, so I'll continue to stalk the forums in the hopes of reading that someone has gotten word of their PGN out and they have a December 18th submit/resubmit. And everytime the phone rings I'll jump and run to answer it in anticipation that it's our agency calling us with good news. Let's just hope, for the sake of phone solicitors everywhere, that they avoid a call to our house until we get that call from our agency.

I Almost Forgot

It's Favorite Photo Friday.

I found out that Lili now likes to close her eyes and scrunch up her nose. I was able to get a few pictures of her showing her silly face.

Another Friday Come and Gone

No call from our agency today, so apparently we're still in PGN. However, things are still moving. For a matter-of-fact, Amy over at A Daughter to Love just posted news that they are out of PGN. They were resubmitted to PGN the day before we were, so maybe, just maybe our time is coming.


Overall, this has actually been a slow weeks of posted "outs" on the forum in comparison to the last couple of weeks. Rumors had been flying that PGN was trying to get all the in process cases approved so everything could move to the new system, but they have a long ways to go before that can happen. On top of everything, the new Central Authority (CA) in Guatemala hasn't been working well. For those who may not know, CA is the government entity in Guatemala that will over see adoptions for the country. This is a requirement of the Hague and in the U.S. it is the Department of State. To make a long and somewhat complicated story short and sweet, the CA is requiring that all in process cases (those with registered Power of Attorneys prior to December 31st, 2007) be registered with the CA. The attorney fills out the required registration form and submits it to the CA. The CA, in return, supplies a certificate of registration to the attorney on that case. However, the CA in Guatemala hasn't received their funding from the government to even purchase office supplies. Therefore, things aren't working out as planned. In addition, the CA keeps changing their minds on the registration form and as of today it was reported that they've changed the form for a third time and this form is required. So, even if the attorney completed and submitted the last form, it has to be redone. The other problem is that the departing Guatemalan president selected 3 people who would be in charge of the CA the day before the new in-coming president took office. This has caused some political turmoil and the new president is trying to get two of the three removed from this position and it's turned into a legal battle. Believe me, this is the short and sweet version of what's been happening. Thus, just another reason that I really want Lili's case to be approved and out of PGN "soon." If you really want to read more detail, click on the Guatadopt link on the right hand side of my blog page.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend and that next week I'll have some really good news to post.