Feeling Sad

Yes, I'm feeling a bit sad that we don't have a court date yet, but there is something else that is making me sad today.

For those not familiar with the old adoption process in Guatemala, let me start out by giving you a very brief synopsis and then I'll get on with the story. I will be leaving out names to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Adoptions in Guatemala were handled by attorneys. A birth mother would go into an adoption attorney's office seeking assistance in finding a family for her child. The attorney would have the birth mother sign a document giving the attorney legal guardianship of the child. The attorneys hired foster mothers, but some also worked with or even ran orphanages, known in Guatemala as hogars. Most of the children were placed with a foster mother who would care for the child until the adoption process was complete and the adoptive family came to pick them up. The process included social worker interviews of the birth mother, all documents being closely scrutinized by PGN, DNA tests by the U.S., new birth certificate and U.S passport issued and then the Embassy appointment. Some cases required more steps than this, but this was the basic process for most adoptions.

Lili's foster mother worked for the attorney who handled our adoption and her mother also worked for the same attorney. When we went on our pick up trip, Lili's foster grandmother had a baby boy that had recently been placed in her care. He had been with another foster family, but the attorney didn't feel he was receiving adequate care and moved him because she knew he would be well cared for with this foster family.

We were invited to Lili's foster grandmother's house for an authentic Guatemalan meal during our trip and met this baby boy. He had some developmental delays, but was an absolute sweet-heart and I had no doubt he would blossom with this foster family.

We returned home and have stayed in contact with Lili's foster family ever since. Several months ago, while chatting with Lili's foster sister, we were informed that this little boy had been abandoned by his adoptive family and left in Guatemala. The family allowed the adoption to continue to completion, but decided they didn't want him because of his delays and never went to Guatemala to get him. They allowed their USCIS fingerprints and approval to expire and this little boy was now caught between two countries. He was the legally adopted child of a U.S. family, but not yet a legal citizen of the U.S.

I could not believe any family would or could do this to their newly adopted child. I was very angry and wanted to find some way of making sure that this little boy found a home. However, there was no legal way to make it happen and so he stayed in Guatemala.

Adoptions in Guatemala have since ended and this little boy has stayed in the care of the foster family for almost 2 years now. Recently they were asked to go to PGN to discuss the possibility of keeping him permanently. The outcome of that meeting did not end as they had hoped. Since the foster family does not have the income necessary to adopt him themselves, they were offered the opportunity to continue caring for him or to place him in an hogar. The problem is, the Guatemalan government will not provide any financial compensation to the foster family to pay for his care. He has been getting physical and speech therapy and has been doing very well. Those therapies need to continue, but cost money they do not have. In addition, if anything would happen to him while under their care, the consequences could be very bad for them. They spoke with the attorney who told them that it would ultimately be in the best interest of this little boy to move him to a hogar. If he stays with the foster family, there would be no chance for him to be seen by a potential adoptive family and in the hogar he has a chance of being adopted.

Today, the foster family turned him over to the Guatemalan government to be placed in a hogar. He will now go from a child getting much love and attention from a family to one of many children sharing love and attention of a few caregivers. He is just a few months younger than Lili and I can only imagine the confusion and fear he must be feeling. My heart breaks for this little boy and for Lili's foster family who loved him as their very own.

This is the other reason I'm feeling sad.