Attachment and Bonding - Part III

Children of the Heart: Attachment and Bonding in Adoption
By Rebecca M. Thomas

Imagine. You are a young child--one, five, eight years old--or maybe older. One day, someone comes to you in your foster home or your orphanage and says: "Very soon you're going to be leaving the world you know here with us forever. You are going to live with people you don't know. They will be your new family. No one you know will go with you. You may not recognize many things in your new home or neighborhood, but you'll get used to them. Soon, you'll be happy there in your new life."

For most children who are adopted, this transition from a known way of life--however good or bad it may be--to an unknown world represents a major life change as well as a significant life "loss." Yet, even though such transition may be difficult at first, most adoption stories have very happy endings!

Children of all ages placed for adoption do make a remarkable adjustment in being with their new family in a fairly short period of time. And their new families embrace them with great love, care and sensitivity to their needs. During this transitional time, which can last from just a few days or weeks to a few months or even years, each person in the family begins to bond and form a loving attachment with the new child.

Attachment is a core issue in adoption. Because without successful attachment, life is often difficult, stressful, empty or lonely for the child.