PGN and More on Attachment and Bonding

I know many families call PGN to obtain status of their case, however, I was going to wait a little longer before calling until a friend of mine encouraged me to go ahead and make the call. So, on the 4th attempt this morning, I was able to speak to someone who told me that we are on the 2nd reviewer's desk. Assuming the 2nd reviewer doesn't issue a previo (kick-out) on our case, our next stop will be the desk of Mr. Barrios. His signature is the final step of PGN and then we obtain Lili's birth mother's signature and she is legally ours. The nice woman I spoke to said I could call again in 2 weeks to check on our case, so be watching for that update.

Bonding and Attachment: When it Goes Right

Bonding and attachment are both cornerstones of human development, essential to a child’s stable functioning as she grows.

Bonding and attachment are terms that are often used interchangeably. However, the stages of infancy and toddlerhood are more accurately portrayed by distinguishing bonding from attachment.

Bonding is the basic link of trust between infant and caretaker, usually the mother. It develops from repeated completions, particularly during the first six months, of the following cycle:

• infant need
• crying
• rage reaction
• parental action to meet need
• satisfaction
• relaxation

Successful bonding results in an infant acquiring a basic trust in others as responsive, in the world as a benign place, and in self as able to communicate needs.

As an infant approaches toddlerhood, she begins to encounter parental limits for the first time. This initiates a second bonding cycle:

• child behavior
• adult limit
• frustration and shame
• adult restates intention to keep child safe

As a result of this cycle, a child develops trust in adult authority and limits. However, for this second cycle to be successful, the shame that is a natural part of the young toddler’s reaction to limits needs addressing. Usually a parent-initiated, positive interaction shortly after the limit-setting is all that is required to protect both bonding and attachment from the disruptive effects of shame.

These two bonding cycles form the foundation out of which attachment grows. While bonding is about trust, attachment is about affection. Attachment can be defined as a person-specific relationship that is dominated by affectionate interchanges. It is not a prisoner of immediate time and space, but extends beyond that. Attachment initially grows out of many instances of a young infant experiencing her parent as reflecting her emotional state. As a child grows, other mutually satisfying interactions add to the parent-child attachment.

The quality of an infant’s initial attachment is enormously important for it influences all subsequent development. Attachment has been identified as playing a vital role in all of the following: maintaining the bonds of trust, attaining full intellectual potential, acquiring a conscience, developing relationships with others, identity and self-esteem, learning to regulate feelings, language development, and brain structures and organization of the nervous system.

© Lawrence B. Smith, L.C.S.W. - C., L.I.C.S.W.
Credits: Lawrence B Smith L.C.S.W. - C., L.I.C.S.W.9305 Mintwood StreetSilver Springs, MD 20901301 589-3780Fax 301 588-1933lbsmith@annapolis.netwww.attachmentdisordermaryland.com